Betwixt and besotted

It's a beautiful spring day and I'm feeling light in my loafers. So forgive me if I don't get around to mentioning the C-word in today's post.

• In the window of a juice shop down the block from my office hangs a sign that reads "Sorry! We're OPEN."
  
  
• PR Week announced this week that it is shifting from being published weekly to monthly, but the publication is keeping the name PR Week. That tells you everything that you need to know about the public relations business.
  
  
• If GQ magazine started publishing every month, would its name change to GM?
  
  
• I really wished that I had a voice on Sunday when I heard L.A. Times columnist Steve Lopez speak as part of a panel discussion at L.A. Times Festival of Books. Lopez tried to make the case for value of his newspaper, saying that each edition was well worth the 50 cents it costs. I wanted to shout, "It costs 75 cents, Steve!" (The panel's moderator corrected Lopez, after he repeated his error.)
  
  
• Someone being interviewed on the radio the other day described something as a "double-edged sword." Aren't all swords double-edged? One dull, one sharp.
  
  
• After five months of eating only through a G-tube, I've started to eat through my mouth in my dreams. A few nights ago I dreamed I ate an entire three-tiered wedding cake. And it was at a reception that I hadn't even been invited to.
  
  
• That reminds me: I haven't opened my refrigerator since at least Christmas. I should have unplugged the thing in observance of Earth Day.
  
  
• Does it really make a difference if Phil Spector decides to become a Democrat?
  
  
• Bob Dylan released his second album in only six months on Tuesday. It feels like 1965 all over again.
  
  
• My Annual Passport to Disneyland expired in February, and the House of Mouse has been desperately trying to woo me back. I feel directly responsible for the recent layoffs at Disneyland.
  
  
• If I were Robert Iger, these are the Disneyland cast members that I would lay off: Jasmine, Ariel, Max (Goofy, Jr.), Lilo, Stitch, Mrs. Incredible, Pocahontas and Timon.
  
  
• A friend who follows this blog complained on Tuesday that the L.A. Times used "Betwixt, between" in a headline twice in just a few days. Well, the Times says right on Page 1 that its pages are partially recycled.
  
  
• What is a "betwixt," anyhow? Isn't it something that's for kids –not silly wabbits?
  
  
• Back to the juice shop I mentioned at the top of this post: I wonder if the other side of that sign says "Welcome! We're CLOSED"? (Update: I was close. I checked it out today and it says "Come In! We're CLOSED.")
  
  
• Do they still write sit com theme songs as cool as the one that began each episode of "Maude"?
  
  Lady Godiva was a freedom rider
  She didn't care if the whole world looked.
  Joan of Arc with the Lord to guide her
  She was a sister who really cooked.
  
  Isadora was the first bra burner
  And you're glad she showed up (Oh yeah!)
  And when the country was falling apart
  Betsy Ross got it all sewed up.
  
  And then there's Maude!
  And then there's Maude!
  And then there's Maude!
  And then there's Maude!
  And then there's Maude!
  And then there's Maude!
  And then there's . . . that old compromisin', enterprisin', anything but tranquilizing,
  right on Maude!
  
  
• Bea Arthur and Bob Dylan could have cut a killer album together.