You say hello, I say mmmm mmm

After decades of annoying me, telemarketers are getting their comeuppance.

I may have lost my voice, but I still have a robust mumble. Lately, I bet that the telemarketers who reach me are convinced that they have dialed the monkey compound at the L.A. Zoo by mistake.

Monday, 6:35 p.m. A telephone rings at the Serchia household.

Me: "Mmmmm?"

Telemarketer: "Good evening. Is Mr. Serchia available?"

Me: "Mmmmm mmm."

Telemarketer: "May I speak with him, please?"

Me: "Mmmmm mmm."

Telemarketer: "Could you please bring Mr. Serchia to the phone?"

Me: "Mmmmm mmm." I place the receiver down for about 30 seconds, then pick it up again.

Me: "Mmmmm?"

Telemarketer: "YOU again? I told you I want to speak with Mr. Serchia."

Me: "MMMM MMM! MMMM MMM!"

Telemarketer (struggling to suppress a sigh of exasperation): "Mr. Serchia, this is Sheila calling from the Los Angeles Improvement Center, and–"

Me: "Mmm-mmm-MMM-mmm-mmm-MMM?!"

Telemarketer: "Uh, the Los Angeles Improvement Center. Did you know that you can save money on your auto insurance just by–"

Me: "Mmm MMM? Mmmm mmm mmmm. MMM mmm mmm, mmm. ¿Mmmm mñm mmmm? "

Telemarketer (after a long pause): "Mr. Serchia, perhaps I called you at a bad time–"

Me: "MMM mmm!" (Click.)

I'm so glad that I never bothered to get my name and number on the Do Not Call Registry. I would never have had this golden opportunity to drive the Sheilas of the world nuts.

Got telemarketers? Send 'em my way!