Let's make a deal

Readers, some bloggers get all the breaks.

I've been kvetchin' and carpin' about cancer in this space for the better part of 10 months, and all I have to show for it is, well, 199 posts of kvetchin' and carpin'. No one has knocked on my door offering to turn this blog into a movie or television series or slap it between hard covers and sell it on Amazon. I just click "Publish and Post" and my musings sink or soar on their own merits.

Meanwhile, some union organizer named Natasha living in Washington, D.C., starts a blog called "The Footnotes of Mad Men" and whaddayaknow: a month later HarperCollins offers her a book deal!

Natasha Vargas-Cooper's The Footnotes of Mad Men is based on an acclaimed series on AMC, now in its third year. I've never seen the show —my TV plays DVDs only— but even if I did have cable television in my apartment, I doubt that I would be able to stay up past 10 p.m. on Sunday nights to watch "Mad Men." And I'm certainly not clever enough to operate a TiVo or DVR or whatever I would need to enjoy television shows that are broadcast past my bedtime.

I am aware that "Mad Men" is gaining popularity and probably will clean up at the Emmys on Sunday. Every time I visit Amoeba, I check the DVD bins for a used copy of the first and second season of the show. Meanwhile, I'm enjoying catching up on episodes of "Sanford and Son" from 1972. (Lamont Sanford's bell bottoms, gold chains and shirts open to the navel are starting to affect the way I dress.)

But I'm digressing. How does a blog based on someone else's fictitious creations merit a lucrative book deal while this blog doesn't?

And Natasha Vargas-Cooper is not the only blogger out there who is capitalizing on someone else's labors. Not too long ago, a New York woman named Julie cracked the spine of Julia Child's "Mastering the Art of French Cuisine" and decided to blog about cooking all of Child's recipes, which Child and her co-authors spent years testing and perfecting.

Not only did Julie land a sweet book deal, she got her book made into a movie with that cute Amy Adams portraying her!

Can I expect to read in Variety that some studio has picked up Natasha Vargas-Cooper's "The Footnotes of Mad Men" for a movie?

I'd kill to have this blog turned into a movie. I'd even be thrilled if Meryl Streep were to be cast to play me. Barring that unlikelihood, a contract for a book — or a series of Bazooka Joe wrappers— would give me at least something I could crow about at my next high-school reunion.

Maybe I need to just get off of this depressing cancer kick and write about something else that I know: "The Footnotes of MAD Magazine," maybe.

Natasha . . . Julie . . . Girls, you gotta tell me how it's done.