Gimme Versace

My neck wear had another growth spurt on Thursday.

Co-workers surprised me with a dandy blue viscose scarf for my birthday, bringing my collection of scarves to five. Only a month ago, I owned just one scarf, and that was one that I had forgotten that I owned.

Scarves allow me to conceal my trach in style, although at 51 I'm not sure I will ever get used to this concept of accessorizing my outfits. Gimme a pair of pants and a shirt and, hey, I'm golden.

But I instantly fell in love with the blue scarf my colleagues gave me. It simply screams, "Look at me, world. I'm a rock star!"

To be more specific, this scarf shouts, "I'm Mick Jagger!"

And the scarf's arrival into my wardrobe could not have come at a better time.

Today, I'm heading to the Norris Cinema Theatre at USC for a series of films about the Rolling Stones, including the classic documentary of the Stones' 1969 tour of the United States, "Gimme Shelter."

In 1969, Jagger was almost never seen on stage without a long, silky scarf, like the crimson number shown in this photo.

So I'm wearing my new blue scarf to today's showing of "Gimme Shelter," and I plan to hang out in the lobby, acting as Jaggeresque as I can. My swollen tongue, which pushes my lips out into a pout, only enhances the Jagger illusion.

I'm not expecting to get approached for an autograph, but I just might get some nods, winks and thumbs up from fellow Stones fans. I only wish that I had time to hit some thrift stores in search of slinky leotards and an Uncle Sam top hat.

There's just no telling where my new awareness of fashion accessories may take me. Yesterday, someone at the office actually told me that I looked "rakish."

One day I'm "trach-ish"; the next I'm "rakish."

It's a slippery slope into foppery.