Jeepers creepers, what's up with my peepers?

I gotta envy that animatronic Abe Lincoln that returned to Disneyland's Main Street Opera House the other day.

The life-size robot of our 16th president sure looks lifelike —far more lifelike than I look or feel these days.

Linc blinks, which is more than I can say for at least one of my eyes.

Sometime over the past few weeks, my left eye stopped blinking. My doctor says that it's a consequence of cancer on my central nervous system.

An unblinking eye can cause vision damage, so my doctor immediately prescribed eye drops so I can get some moisture in my eye and an ointment to help me keep the eye shut when I sleep.

He said that I can't overuse the eye drops. At the rate that I've been dropping the lubricant in my eye, the 15 mL bottle he prescribed will be depleted in no time and I'll be back at the pharmacy for a refill. Maybe I'll get a keg of the stuff.

As for the ointment, my doctor says that I should use it to "sort of glue your eye closed" when I go to sleep at night.

I see potential for all kinds of disaster. If one eye is asleep and the other glued shut, how will I be able to aim at the toilet when I get up during the night to pee? What happens if I roll my head during the night and glue my eye to my pillow? What if mistakenly grab the tube of eye ointment when I need to apply Preparation H instead?

I guess all of these issues will resolve themselves over time, and using the new drugs will become second-nature to me.

What really worries me, however, is the possibility that this new symptom may spread to my right eye.

With two unblinking eyes, and a red-and-white dress, I'd be a doppelganger for Little Orphan Annie.