Chris Eisenberg, (Chris E) another AIDS/LifeCycle participant, is doing her darnedest to keep the worlds of cancer and AIDS intertwined.
After stopping at the hospital on Monday to show me a Technicolor-ready pair of slide shows of ALC events --some charting the erosion of my features, Chris and her reliable mascot BunnE hopped back to Hollywood with laptop to allow me another post.
At least I hope it is Chris E and BunnE sitting across from the bed from me.
All day I have been seeing things that I don't believe are actually there. First I thought an intruder enter my hospital room and was looking out the window at rain-slickened Sunset Boulevard. Then they wheeled my IV pole into an architecturally altered bathroom that looked like some kind off-site betting establishment. And finally, while lying in bed --it's really all I do these days--and believing that a friend was parked in a corner waiting for two nurses to wrap up a sponge bath, and was alarmed to get a text from him explaining he hadn't left his office yet, o!
When one of my saw on his late-morning rounds, I described each episode to him. "You've been Sundowning," he explained.
Another name for this condition may be "Paul's Brains Slowly to Mush".
By the way, Chris E is a stellar human being and one of the brilliant flames that blaze California highways on AIDS/LifeCycle year after year. Visit her ALC page to support her.
If you see her ask her if she noticed the geezer in raincoat staring out on Sunset Boulevard this afternoon. I swear he was there all the damn day.
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Hey Paul,
ReplyDeleteMaybe your Sundowner companions are a visual (only to you) expression of all of the love and care that your friends and family want to pour out on you right now. You have lots of people who want to be with you to offer their comfort and support. I am sure that in addition to the friends and family that are coming by to see you, there is an enormous amount of good karma and prayers and positive energy that is converging on your room right now from those of us that are far away. We are rooting for you!
Take care.
Diane Denson Furukawa
Paul -- Your brain and mush will never meet. Your heart is the guardian. -- Marvin
ReplyDeleteThe ONLY time your brain has been close to mush is when you and your friends returned home after a concert. Remember where I found you??
ReplyDeleteWell ... maybe another time is when you had the dream where you could make a face, affectionately now called the "Paul" face and turn people to stone ... urggg!
Love ya
Mike (the brother)
Oh Paul, what a sundowner to read what is going on. You are one of the smartest, most amazing people on the planet and I can't imagine your brain as anything but brilliant, complex and working in triple-time. I love you so and my heart is breaking while reading your latest entries.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could send you one of my chins (I have several now) so that you could make the aforementioned "Paul Face." Perhaps your brother has a photo of it from childhood that he could post?
Lots of love and strength to you my dearest Paul. If there's anyone who doesn't deserve all this crap, it's you.
Love, love, love
Holly Harootunian
I'm with Diane, all those visions are the countless people and the prayers, mojo, karma or what-have-you they are all sending your way.
ReplyDeleteI have a vision of the "Paul Face" and then I see what would happen after the "Paul Face"...you and everyone with you as they start giggling helplessly. I can see the many times that you, Diane and I laughed and laughed...at others and ourselves! I'm pretty sure the "Paul Face" would just crack us up.
Take care, Paul!
Kim (Scott) Krask
So nice to see these names from the distant past and so many of Paul's school friends. I wish I had a picture of the "Paul" face, but I do not. You will have to use your imagination.
ReplyDeleteBut, I will tell you that when Paul reads this ... he will break out laughing.
For now ... urggg
Mike (the brother)
Sooo ... here is another idea.
ReplyDeleteWho has some "Paul" stories from the past that they would like to share? He has impacted to many people, I am sure there must be hundreds.
I know he would like to read about them!!
Love
Mike (the brother)
One time I made him believe I stamped Daffy Duck on his forehead before he went in to visit the Controller at APLA. He walked in, pointed to his forehead, and said "Daffy Duck". Of course, I didn't really stamp him.
ReplyDeleteHey Paul --
ReplyDeleteThere is no way your brain will ever turn to mush.
- Cal Spadoni
Mike (the brother), you start with the story of where you found Paul after that concert! It sounds like a gooooooood story. Whaddyathink Paul?
ReplyDeleteKim